[I] may be crazy but I'm the closest thing I have to a voice of reason.

19 March 2010

Nothing to See Here, So Let’s Move It Along Folks, Part 2

“We got no fear, no doubt
all in, balls out!”
Nickelback. That’s always good for getting my ass in top gear. And I am an all-in, balls-to-the-wall kind of girl. Right this minute I’ve also got The Black Eyed Peas singing “Pump it. Louder! Pump it. Louder!” while the trumpet and guitar ride that famous surf riff in the background. Love it. LOVE. IT. Wait. Slight miscalculation. I can’t type while I’m dancing.

It’s well after midnight as I write this, which isn’t unusual, but having my trainer move our gym date up by two hours - at midnight! - is. Doesn’t that sound successful? “My trainer.” Love that. Actually, it’s not nearly as sexy as it sounds. I can’t afford tires for my car or the last rabies shot for my cat, but I make sure I have someone to kick my ass twice a week. Is this because I’m athletic? Hell no. I sit here in front of my screen eating junk food all day, and even so, I would not knowingly make myself sweat, no matter how good it might be for me. Hence the “trainer.” If I didn’t have to meet her (and pay whether I show or not), I’d never leave the house. Really. And while I was lucky enough to land in the slim end of the gene pool, DNA does not last forever, people, I can tell you that. So I’ve got to pump this little ditty out fast. This ZeroBirthdayBody needs its rest.

I’m feeling flush with success tonight. Hmm, maybe that “You say you wanna be a star?” line I used yesterday is paying off. Heh. Today I got to move forward in negotiations for a professional blog site: domain name, custom design, search engine optimization, the whole nine yards. While in the middle of this nego- wait - back up.

Today I got shamanized. That’s my new word for encapsulating what happens when I do shamanic work. To give you perspective, during shamanic work it’s a good thing when my head gets so foggy I can’t put two and two together. In fact, it’s a good thing when I stop being able to hear. I’m not kidding. The shaman is speaking, I know the words are directed to me and that they are in everyday English, and I have no fucking idea what he’s saying. Sometimes I have to have him repeat it several times. And this is a good thing. It means my head is no longer in charge. Okay. I signed on to be deconstructed.

Fast forward to tonight. I know nothing about web... anything. I don’t speak the language and even if I could, I don’t know what it means. So I’m discussing what will be what with this web designer and my head is as functional as a hangover on Monday morning before coffee and a long shower. Minus the nausea, thank God. The one day I really need my brain power, and the shaman has put it on ice. They don’t tell you about that in the brochure. So I am flip-flopping through this blog design conversation like a fish suffocating on dry land, totally unprepared but all about it, when I realize that my BLIP.fm station has just hit 1000 listeners.

This is where I’m supposed to tie this all up, say something pity, focus the previous five paragraphs toward a final statement about life, love, the pursuit of happiness, and I got nothing; my brain is fried. I got that the hard work I’ve put into my spiritual/energetic life is starting to make a difference, just a bit, even though I feel lost. I got that I’m finally on the road to having a real home for my writing, which is beyond awesome or any other exclamation made with words, even though it comes with a steep roller coaster learning curve. And I got that now I have a really cool star next to my Blip avatar that says, 1K. Of all the good things that happened today, it’s that last one that made me clap and grin like an idiot. I’m such a Girl Scout. One that can swear like a longshoreman when it’s called for. ^_~

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